alright, I'm sooooo fucking tired, which is I guess partially why I'm posting. Because if you havne't noticed I'm quite a bit more apt to post when I'm tired as I usually use this as an excuse to stay up a little bit longer. I've got nothing to do for the rest of the week so I'm not really concerned about staying up that late. of course the fact that it's about 10 pm right now doesn't bother me much either. I'm working on this stupid thing with my friend for fun on neopets . I should probably imbed a referal link within there, but I don't really care enough about it to go to the effort of looking up my referal id in the off chance that someone would join just because I said it was fun, and it is actually fun. A surprising amount so ;) I'm running quests and shit with one of my friends for a guild that's basically filled with 17 year old and younger girls. Which of course *whistles innocently* isn't why I'm a member... Although speaking of girls, I'm horny as all fuck today, hell everyday and it doesn't help that I can't talk to 'certain' people without getting all hyper and being unable to have a coherent conversation that lasts more than five seconds, which is really really starting to piss me off. But on the plus side after a conversation with said 'people' I get a nice endorphine high and I start to feel really good (nice and redundant, eh?). I wonder if anyone else ever feels that way. Although I know at least one other person has experienced something somewhat similiar to that as he told me about experiencing those sensations. (see how I, unneccesarily, doubled the length of that sentence?)

I really should learn to write without having to use parenthesis all the time, and criticizing or commentating on my writing but I don't want to! I'm at least trying to fix my writing, which I guess is a plus. I'm consciously starting to reject wanna and putting want to, which I guess should actually be in quootations, but oh well. Hmmm I need someone to help me with my writing sometime, because right now it really sucks shit and my typing speed is fucked up also, I wanna go faster, I really do, and I'm not sure how to yet.

Oh yeah, my grandma has moved in with my family temporarily, which is interesting, it's not to bad but I kind of miss having some time alone to myself every day. What I really miss is being able to go around with a lot less clothing since I was home alone half the time. As a matter of fact the main draw to going to bed right now is so that I can get naked and just feel nice and comfortable. But that might be more information than you want isn't it? Well, to bad ;) I hate clothes, I really do. I usually sit around with no shirt on at home, I'd rather not wear pants either but... If you've ever seen me you know I rarely ever wear anything other than shorts and short sleeves and the reason for that after reading this (as you may have surmised) is that I hate the feel of clothing against me, to much damn restrictions.

Ok, I think that's enough for now so I'll update some more later, I probably missed a few things that I wanted to detail but whatever...


Lifebane@optonline.net

Oh My God.

I just saw the ring (and by just I mean that it ended almost an hour ago), I still can't breath properly, and I'm quite prone to breaking out into hystiercal laughter. It was quite seriously the scariest time of my life. I walked in expecting a scary movie, and jesus h christ I really got one. When I saw the trailers for other movies I was a little bit scared. But god, they scared the fuck out of me, because I was expecting something huge from The Ring, but I was also expecting to get let down. Especially after seeing the review on Penny Arcade. But I was wrong, oh so wrong... The Ring is possibly the scariest movie ever made, it makes every other movie that I've ever seen look like a kiddy movie. Oh My God. Scary Scary Scary Scary, I was telling someone before how I felt after seeing that movie, and even worse, during it. I started hyper ventilating during the movie. I almost went into shock. I started laughing hysterically at points because I was so scared, and at one point I couldn't breath because my throat had constricted. If you don't mind being scared shitless, see this movie. Oh My God... I want to cuddle up with someone I can hold onto tight and squeeze relaly really hard and the only person I can really think of right now is Rebecca, because she doesn't mind getting held tightly. Oh lord almighty, Darkelven, heal me. Purge those impurities from my mind. Let me sleep!


Lifebane@Optonline.net

I almost killed myself today. Not in a depressed suicidal type of way, I was walking upstairs in the hallway, when all of a sudden I had this irrational, exuberant urge to run and jump all the stores. Now while that may not sound that bad, when you consider that it's approx. 15 stairs and 20 feet straight down (assuming of course that I somehow manage to land at the bottom on the floor) and of course as an extra bonus there are tons of papers and other slippery items so that even if I did land there I'd go foward and crack my skull against the floor, or go back and crack my skull on the floor.

I probably wouldn't have actually died but I almost definetly would have broken at least 2 ribs, and possibly an arm, most likely a concussion too. But god it almost seems worth it... But if I did that I wouldn't have any possibility of being able to wrestle and I really am considering doing that.

Had a talk today about the ignorance of man, although the actual conversation was surrounding three words that I thought almost everyone would know the meaning of at least two of them. (horrible sentence eh?): Omniscient, Omnipotent and Omnipresent. I figured that almost everyone would know what Omnipotent meant, as well as Omnipresent. Omniscient actually requires a bit of thought, because I mean really, wtf is a "scient"... whoa just looked it up, it is an actual word and not just a root, it means litterally "knowing, skillful" but I have this odd feeling that not many people know that, or I'm quite a bit more ignorant than I thought I was. But anyway, back on target, apparently quite a few people didn't know what Omnipresent meant. I'd think that it should be fairly obvious - Omni, meaning all, every, everywhere and Present, meaning existing. So existing everywhere would be a literal definition of it, as well as a common use definition. Some people today... scary... Well, I think I'm out of patience for the day, or hour, or minute, or mood. Whichever you'd like to call it, so I guess I'll just sign off for now, after all this is just Mork Calling Ork

P.S. If for some reason you know how to make me omnipresent, omnipotent or omniscient, especially omnipotent. Please contact me, I'm sure if you know that than you can figure out how to use an email program. Maybe even a POP3 account?

Lifebane@optonline.net

Yay, finally fixed my blog. Figured out last night what was wrong with it, and I actually remembered to fix it today. It appears that my template got deleted while thee guys at blogger.com were reconstructing the site. Not really sure How it got deleted, but it did. So I had to get a new one, and since I was to lazy to find my old one I just grabbed a new one. I think this one makes my blog quite a bit nicer though, so now I'll probably reread my blog more often ;)

It actually looks sort of like Ordered Chaos now, as the site itself is orderly yet my thoughts are not. I'm also starting to get back into the posting mindset again, so perhaps I'll start posting every couple of days now, although I'm not really sure what I'lld o and of course only time will tell. if reality is something more than an illusion of the mind, and if it isn't this won't prove anything, will it?

G'night

Lifebane@optonline.net

another weird dream today, not sure why, but ohwell. I can't really remember that much of it, although I did go over it mentally before. Some of the same people in this one as in one of the ones I had last night. It was a cool dream, but I'm not really in the mood to talk about it. I said I'd try and interrupt my dream tonight and I will, even if I'm currently unable to update my blog *growl*, gotta scream at somebody if that doesn't start working fairly soon. Or at least try and fix it within the next couple of days... Hmmm, well here goes nothing...


Ok, the group of warriors I was traveling with most likely represented my peers, friends, or perhaps even society in general, although I'm leaning toward the Peer answer. Anyway, they were warriors and I was a battle mage, meaning that I view myself as someone... not neccessarily more important, but more unique, or more valued than I do the rest of my group (peers). My attempts to turn into a mage actually reflects my want of a genius level iq, and my inability to get it. The strain of the spell I tried to cast as a mag,e was the effort I'm putting into it (most likely consciously and unconsciously). However my decision to give up and surrender to what I am, most likely indicates that I feel on some level that I should give up and accept myself as who and what I am. Once I return to my battle-mage state, I start to flourish again, surpassing my peers, and doing the best that I can possibly do without any of the strain of trying to be something I'm not.

That actually reminds me of something I had forgotten up until this moment, when I went back into the forest to fight as a battlemage, I was smiling as I was fighting. Which I guess would mean that I at least think I can be happy if I let myself, be me.

Whoa, its been forever since I last posted, so I figure I'll do something I haven't done in a while on this post - Post a dream. I typed it up anyway, so I might as well use that telling of it ;)

I was traveling through a forest with a group of warriors (d&d style sort of)
and I was a weird type of battle mage instead of just a mage with battle oriented spells
oh yeah Paladin that's the word just more like an evil paladin (anti-paladin) heh mage/warrior
sort of and I was trying to become more of a mage and less of a warrior
(there's a lot more, but this is just the basic idea)
there was an attack at the village we were at and I was trying to cast spells
and none of them would work (this was the lucid part)
like I tried to cast a huge firebolt and nothing happened
I could feel my body straining in the effort to produce it tho
and this kept up and after helping these people (they might have been kids, not sure) into a trapdoor/escape route)
I just gave up the mage technique and started hacking and slashing and I tried to cast a spell and the dream ended
I'm not really sure if it worked I think the spell probably did
but I'm not totally sure and well the next dream was connected to it
oh yeah I missed something the trapdoor was right next to the edge of the forest
and so when I decided to fight like a warrior
or battlemage or something as opposed to a mage I ran into the forest


I'm not really sure how to interrupt it, but I'll try. Not tonight though, I'll do it tommorow probably, but this way I have something to motivate me to come back

Welcome to my world, I am your local god if you feel like knowing such a thing about me, and in case you're curious I'm really really damn tired and I want some sleep!!! Sleep makes the world go round ya'know? I'm really way to tired to be writing this but I figured that I'd just sned a little message from my new OS, oh yeah lol. I didn't mention the fact that I upgraded my computer to windows 2000 a few days ago, fun shit especially since it doesn't crash anywhere near as much, even though I really should reboot it pretty soon considering all the hardware stuff I've added recently... took a typing test, because I felt like typing some more, for no apparent purpose. I hit 102 words per minute adjusted speed, with 97% accuracy. Which means that I went up one wpm adjusted in around 6 months, so by the time I'm 50 or so I should be typing at around 169 wpm :) Now if that happens I'll be quite, quite happy. Of course that would be a lot easier if I could just have my hands replaced with bionics... ah well, this had no purpose whatsoever tonight, but than again when does this have a purpose? Maybe I'll include some actual valuable info on this sometime soon, like tommorow for instance. But as for now, this is Mork from Ork signing off!


Lifebane@optonline.net